Tuesday, 29 May 2012
IS SEXTING CHEATING OR FLIRTING?
If you are living in the 21st century and you have a Smartphone or belong to more than one online social networking site, then you are guilty of sexting (unless you are so spiritually alert). Back in the days when the internet was still a bit alien, the only form of showing your affection for someone else other than your partner was either to arrange clandestine meetings or send love letters or poems.
The traditional ways of knowing when your partner is cheating on you was through the tell tale signs they usually leave around such as, the new fragrance that he exudes which you know he doesn’t have in his collection, the secret love letter in the pocket of his coat or her handbag, or the lipstick stain on the collar of his shirt or the opened box of condoms on his cupboard which was never sealed the last time you checked. But nowadays, jut snooping round the phone of your lover will reveal to you if they had been faithful lately.
As sexy as the word “sexting” sounds the ears, so also is the desire to try it out.
“Just let me see what I really look like when I climax.”…
"OMG!!! Are my breasts that lovely in pictures?”…
"Oh baby, I'm so haaaard right now."
To aggravate the situation, the internet has promoted the practice of sexting through instant messaging and private messages on Facebook with the Blackberry messenger topping the list. It’s like anyone on the internet has become sexually wired. Anyone hitting on you wants to get a sneaky peek at what he is going to pay for before the real thing.
“Send me a picture of you in the bathroom naked. I want to see what you really look like.”
Hello!!! What happened to my facial picture on my dp?
Human beings are very visual beings, and just like we get turned on by watching our spouse striptease for us before we get tangled in bed, so also do we get turned on through sexting. In fact, such practices at times do help couples to keep the fire burning in their relationships.
Imagine being at a boring meeting at the office when you receive a ping on your Blackberry from your spouse or some girl you‘ve been flirting with on the internet, baring her tunnel of passion for you. Wow! I’m sure the meeting would suddenly become lively for you.
Now the real problem about sexting which had raised issues in relationships is if it is an act of cheating or flirting.
So I decided to send a topless picture of me to someone I met online, so what? Am I cheating or flirting?
Why some people may choose to term flirting as cheating, it really is not if there is no physical act done, just a bit teasing here and there. Can the same be said about sexting which makes use of sexually driven text messages accompanied with pictures or videos at times?
If my boyfriend should get wind of a naked picture I sent to my ex just to prove to him that he lost out on all the goodies, would that be considered as cheating or flirting?
Cheating in relationships on the other hand refers to when your partner decide to have a little more of that something from someone else, either for some selfish reasons, careless decisions, perverse actions or to escape from your lackluster sexual torture. Cheating might not necessarily link to sex, it could be lies or a secret crush you’ve been saving till you finally find a way to execute it.
In fact, couples dictate individually what should be considered a cheating. If so, Should the same apply to sexting?
Personal thoughts: Sexting is cheating to me if he is the one doing it. If he ask for some other lady to send a naked picture of her to him, that is outright disrespect to my womanhood. Why would he want some other naked picture of a bimbo when he can get free viewing rights from me any day and anytime? That will add to my list of insecurities. The next thing, he will be comparing me with her or probably, she will be in his head when we are making out or maybe, he will be telling me how to look to make me more sexually appealing to him. Hell no! If I see any naked picture of him that he sent to some other lady or another lady’s picture on his phone, he is soooo dead!!!
I know you all want to know what if I’m the culprit, should the same judgment be passed on me? Well… you know women like baring it all. Sometimes, you just want to know how sexy you are in someone else eyes aside from your boyfriend. That is not cheating. I know we may never see and it will just be for the fun of the moment. Not that I will do it, but if I have to do it with someone else other than my boyfriend, then just know that I’m just being an attention whore or feeling very insecure. And hey, it doesn’t have to be a guy; it could be my girlfriend.
That said, it solely depends on the grounds on which your relationship is built. If you think sexting is a harmless act and doesn’t poise as a threat to your relationship, cool for you. But, if you feel insecure and scared that it will affect your relationship, then look for a way to put a stop to it. And don’t even think about seizing her phone. Capishe?