I've been made to believe since my teen years that there's a Mr Right for me. Someone who will waltz into my life and sweep me off my feet. Someone who won't flinch if I fart loudly in public because he is my Mr Right. Someone who would help me build my dreams and also make it a reality. Someone who wouldn't care if I cry like Goldie whenever I miss Big Brother Africa Eviction show on TV. Someone who will totally accept me for who I am.
(Wait a minute! Accept me for who I am???)
I have been living in this castle for (God-knows-how-long) years, waiting for my shining Knight to come set me free. I'm in my mid-twenties and there is still no sign of Mr. Right. (Screaming) Who the hell is he???
Quite a number of men have swam into my life; some I wish I had never dated, some I wish things were different. It seems there is always something holding each of them back from being Mr. Right.
If I could remember vividly what they told me back then, Mt Right was supposed to be someone who is Perfect for me, who don't see my flaws, who will make my bed in the morning while I jam to some P-square or Wizkid hits.
(Wait a minute...let me go through my ex list and see if any one of them had done such for me)
Naaa... None of them (are you sure???)
Yea...damn sure. They all come with their flaws. And with time, even the perfectly hidden ones begin to crawl out of their shell.
It's so damn hard to find Mr Right when young men of nowadays just want to get the booty. And even those who claim to be faithful, jeez...you should check them out in the closet. They are hypocritical!!! It's either you aint doing this right or what others think you should do right!
(Readers are advised not to take the above outrage personally)
Btw, how do I get to know Mr. Right? Is he gonna come dressed up in a white armour or should I expect just a slob?
Is he gonna have a deep sexy voice or a shrill kinda voice?( I hope not the latter)
Is he gonna be rich and famous or just an ordinary guy you pass by on the street?
Is he gonna be a charmer or just that guy who sits by the corner in a gathering with a creepy smile on his face?
Is he gonna be a good dancer or one who just taps his feet and calls it his customised Azonto?
Is he gonna be a fluent speaker or do I need to shush his mouth each time he tries to speak to save myself from embarrassment?
Is he gonna be a good kisser or someone who laps his tongue all over my face like a dog?
Is he gonna be an American, Spanish, European, Asian or an African?
Is he gonna be the one who will cuddle after a steamy sex or doze off after he climaxes?
Is he gonna be any of these? Is he???
But what if he is not what the movies, books and our parents made us believe he is?
What if he is just that lame boyfriend of yours who you can't imagine hanging out with?
What if he is just an ordinary guy, nothing spectacular or dazzling?
What if he is not supposed to be dressed in all that shiny armour, maybe just some drab second-hand clothes?
What if he is not that PERFECT, maybe just a human being with flaws like you?
What if you are not yet RIGHT to be with Mr. Right?
Whoever Mr Right is, I feel so sorry for him because he sure got tons of work to do. He's sure going to make all my fantasies a reality.
I have so many expectations of Mr Right, I just pray he can handle the pressure cos I'm going to make him work. He has to pay for all the years I have spent waiting for him.
There are so many things I want him to do for me. Like he should be able to give me access to his bank account without hesitation, maybe put me as his first priority in life. In fact, he should make me feel like the only girl in the world (clasped hands together...day dreaming).
While we ladies are busy trying to figure out who Mr. Right is, we should also evaluate ourselves. Are we really ready to meet Mr Right? Is Mr Right seeing us as his damsel in distress or are we just another Cinderella's step-sisters he has to shove out of his way?
Maybe I've met Mr. Right without knowing it. Maybe I've been consumed with my expectations of him and failed to pay heed to his expectations of me. Maybe he is still out there waiting for me to really need him.
Whoever you are Mr. Right, I'm ready to meet you...my clock is ticking and it ain't funny anymore....