And to the men out there, seriously, don't you want to settle down ? Is this social plight just a woman's problem or are the men also not afraid that they might become an old gent?
Here is an excerpt of my published article on ThisDay newspaper. Let me know what you think about it and how we can help address the single staus of our sisters out there. Me inclusive(winks)…
Stella was in her early thirties and still unmarried. A shrewd entrepreneur, Stella lived a very comfortable life. Living in a three bedroom flat with her mum and siblings at one of the suburbs in Lagos, she was the ideal breadwinner any family could look up to. She catered for her family like a father would since hers passed away when she was still a teenager.
She was a natural care giver. Always willing to help anyone in need. She placed others' needs before hers. As a sanguine, she easily made friends and people loved her without holds barred. She was playful, very articulate and blessed with the wisdom of a dove.
Everyone loved having Stella around. She was a mother, a sister and a friend. If you have a problem, Stella was the ideal person to talk to because she would take her time to analyse the situation and give you the best solution she can offer.
Though known for her witty remarks, Stella doesn't tolerate disrespect or injustice in any form. She doesn't waste time in saying her piece of mind when angered, even if it might hurt the other party's feeling.
With all these high points, Stella was still unhappy. She felt incomplete, like there is something still missing in her life. And there was… A man.
Stella was unmarried and each ticking of the clock caused her heart to beat faster. A ray of light gets dimmer once there is no shining knight standing in front of her asking for her hand in marriage. Often times she wondered if men out there were blind. She would stare at herself in the mirror, observing her curvaceous body, looking for signs of lapping folds, but none was visible.
She was a pretty one. She has had many men tell her. Yet they don't want to take this pretty one to mama, to their home and make her lady of their household. What was wrong with men? She will cry out aloud sometimes. Or is Cupid blind or is someone from my village planning evil against me? On several occasions, she's been to one church or the other, seeking for a miracle and a solution to her single status. After series of fasting and praying, there is still no sign of her significant other.
Stella is frustrated. Not like she doesn't have men who ask her out for dates, the only problem is that they don't want to get serious. All they want is to hang out, probably sex if they are lucky and nothing more. And with the age clock ticking closely to her ears, Stella is desperate. She is scared that she might end up single.
She had tried to adjust her manners and lifestyle like those self help books on relationship had advised her to do, yet no headway. As if life hasn't made enough mockery of her already, every now and then a friend, relative, neighbour will call to invite her to a wedding of someone she used to know; maybe a frenemy or an ex-lover. And out of frustration, she will cry out to the Lord, asking Him to grant her her heart desires. In fact, she started attending weddings in order to find the lucky Mr. Right there.
Her previous relationships have yielded no "will you marry me?" episode. They stay as much as they can until she can't stand them anymore. She is tired. What else is left for her to do? Why is she still unmarried…
There are thousands of women out there who are in a similar situation like Stella. They have things going on for them. Everyone seems to tell them that they are wife materials, yet there are no husbands looking for them. The question on their lips is always "why am I still unmarried?"
Stella is asking why men don't want to get serious and settle down with her.
So I put the question to young men who are still bachelors, why don't you want to get married?
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN